Friday 6 June 2014

The Drone: Uncensored State of the Nation’s Address: Parental Guidance (18) advised.

"The easiest stories are always made known, the difficult part, with little or no evidence can best be put in a fictional form to facilitate the individual thought in understanding what might have actually happened or not happen" - Victor Brachie.

Mr. Speaker,

I thank you for the opportunity to be here to perform my constitutional duty. Article 67 of the constitution requires the president at the beginning of each session of Parliament to deliver a message on the state of the nation.

I intend to do just that: to deliver a message on the state of the nation which I daresay is stable and in reasonable good health.

The economy is full of promises and directives from various prominent and moguls of the field, I believe we are making a substantial progress even though there was little contribution from the opposition party when they failed to turn up for the National Economic Forum, popularly called the Senchi consensus.

 THE ECONOMY

Mr. Speaker,

Over the past months I have been President, much of gathering together as a nation with a purpose and zeal to find immediate remedies to the economic difficulties have not happened before, I am pleased to have put together an economic consensus which we are working on implementing its proposed measures.

THE MACRO-ECONOMY

Mr. Speaker, under my watch, Ghana has recorded the highest ever growth rate in the annals of our nation’s history with a provisional growth rate already at 15%, a percentage increment after I took over office last three years.

Just recently, I directed a friend to influence people to help improve the rate of the cedi by taking in Kenkey and Gari, of which I am very impressed it got it value, I also want to take this opportunity to advice that, Kokontey, Waakye, and Tuo zaafi can also be a better way to help the cedi improve.

EDUCATION

Mr. Speaker,

A quick look at our educational sector provides a great example of how far we have come within a short time span of 3 years.

There have been several proposed strikes yet to be embarked by members of associations, there has been limited lecture hall attendance by lecturers, and students are excited for non-pressurization on their academic life.

Just last week, before I wrote this State of the Nation Address, I was informed of a DCE instructions to a nursing training institution to punish students for embracing him before me, the report has been presented to me and I have taken a decision on it.

I have directed the Ministry to make this finding public to serve as a deterrent to others.

In the city of Accra for example efforts have been made to bring an end to the school feeding program which has been a drawback in the fight against diarrhea and quality education.

SCIENCE, COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY AND INNOVATION

Mr. Speaker,

Important changes have occurred in the communication Industry in Ghana. Findings made available to me from an investigations proves that SobaProblematicEnquiries, a monitoring firm, by paper performed a job on behalf of one of government’s communication agencies but in evidence, it was not done, I have therefore directed that, such people should be brought to book and punished.

JOB CREATION

Mr. Speaker, this administration has been concerned about job creation and its importance for the growth of the economy and development of the nation.

Thanks to our very own electricity producing firm by creating an opportunity for the youth to create their own non-tax jobs at night, in the day and even in the afternoons.

Youth these days have been very creative, somewhere last week at Aworshie, a young man was seen collecting 3.00gh from people when they swung on his pendulums hanged on an electric poll, and he is strongly making ends meet with his small invention.

And I think he had a light-scheduled time-table to when he was to allow people on the pendulum. It was solid.

AGRICULTURE

Mr. Speaker,

We have made strong progress in addressing the difficulties facing agriculture in this country, arresting and sacking people who mismanaged the agricultural sector. Individuals are also doing well when a thief was arrested for stealing a smoked fish.

Agriculture plays a strong role in our part of the world, so we need to pay attention to our food products, farming, fishing, especially, I have directed the Ministry to fight against people who use DDT and other poisonous chemicals in fishing.

ENERGY

Mr. Speaker,

This government is a religious one, recently, my minister pleaded that, there was the need for all Ghanaians to pray for rains to pour down to fill our various dams, today, I am adding my voice to make it a directive.

Also, it quiet unfortunate that, ever since the person who forged the signature of the minister hit on the run, he has not been found, I am therefore directing the Ministry of Inside Affairs, National Protectors Agency and the Police Services to immediately provide that person by the end of this month.

THE SURVIVAL SPECULATIVE SALARY STRUCTURE

Mr. Speaker,

I have informed this house of the bold decisions we had taken to squash the Survival Speculative Salary Structure, popularly referred to as the SSSS and it still holds until further notice.
(Yeeeyeh)

HEALTH

Mr. Speaker,

The incident that led to the loss of a baby in one of our hospitals still stands unsettled; I have therefore directed the Ministry to immediately give the woman an amount of money that will shock her and her family like how the loss of the baby shocked them. My administration will always ensure fairness.

One of our government hospitals have been fighting against themselves over issues that are very important to me. In this light, I have instructed all the board of directors to easily step down till further notice and I have asked the President of the Older Staff Association to act as the Chairman.

(Yeeeyeh)

SECURITY, LAW AND ORDER

Mr. Speaker,

Because I oversee the security service, I was somehow shocked and not even shocked when I was informed of the thievery activity that led to the arrest of a police man after he was identified to be a member of the gang when he unknowingly left his ID card on the floor, I have therefore decided to pray for forgetfulness and loss of ID cards on behalf of all bad police men in this country. My fasting ended yesterday when I visited the Headquarters.

Ayekoo to them!

YOUTH AND SPORT

Mr. Speaker,

On the sports front, we all are aware of the world cup season in brazil, I myself will be there to watch almost all of the matches because it falls in my off-month as President, Hahaha.

I have promised to give each of the players an amount of $554,000 if they qualify from the group stages, $600,000 if they make it to the Semi-finals and $900,000 if they win the cup, I shall fulfill this promise.

Even though the Bank of Ghana has instructed against the use of the dollar, but I have asked them to allow because of the nature of the world cup.

(Yeeeyeh)

SANITATION

Mr. Speaker,

I have asked the Mayor of Accra to step down; I have also given directives to the Ministry to arrest people who throw rubbish around.

Here are some measures I have put in place: I am therefore going to sack all the workers at the following state institutions if filth in found anywhere in the country and I promise that.

The District Environmental Health Departments, District Directorates of Health Service, NCCE, DWST, Community Development and Social Welfare, NADMO, UNICEF etc.

About 80% of the population in the districts disposes off both solid and liquid waste within the vicinity of their houses and these are carried into the various water bodies by run-offs thereby polluting them, any citizen got throwing rubbish will be arrested and arranged before court and will suffer a 10years imprisonment and the government representative in such an area will be sacked and imprisoned twice the ordinary person, and I am certain to take action.

ROADS

Mr. Speaker,

There has been a huge debt since last year through mismanaging of funds, a budget deficit of $2057,000. I have therefore directed the Ministry of Roads to stop work on the Suhum-Nsawam road and the Aworshie road, because of the non-availability of money to finish the projects.

CONCLUSION

Mr. Speaker, Honorable Members of the House on this note, I wish both sides a fruitful season and may all that we do help in building a great nation.

Let us know that, we are all for each other. God bless our homeland and make our nation strong. I thank you for your kind attention.

This writing is fictional and any resemblances being it name or association is highly coincidental.

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SOURCE;MYJOYONLINE

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